It was just before dinnertime at the McKibbin household. I was sitting at the table with my sons, Jack and Max. We were chatting about our school and work days, while my husband Chris was in and out of the dining room, bringing in the food.
As all of this was happening, I noticed that Jack, who was 8 years old at the time, was speaking very candidly and directly. Soon after, I noticed he was becoming increasingly sarcastic, argumentative, and downright antagonistic.
There was a pause in the commotion of setting the table and serving the food, as Chris and I both questioned Jack.
“Whoa! What’s up, Buddy?!”
“Why are you coming in so harsh?”
“What’s going on, Dude?!”
Jack threw one more verbal zinger at his older brother Max, threw up his hands, and said, “Sorry! When I get hungry, I get truthy!”
*Record scratch*
We all busted out laughing. Truthy?!
My Jack was living his experience of what happens when something like hunger kicks in and control of certain faculties diminishes.
I think about how many of us have gotten “truthy” when we were feeling tired, hungry, or any other type of unpleasant sensation. We feel these sensations in our bodies and eventually it rears its ugly head in how we speak to others. Our speech becomes like a dagger, pointed at the poor, unsuspecting soul who happens to be around and on the receiving end. In Jack’s case, his brother.
In the business world, how many of us have the best of intentions, but then X happens? The alarm clock didn’t go off, so now you’re running late. You were facilitating a difficult conversation between two coworkers, missed lunch, and now you’re hangry. You were taking care of a sick child all night, and now you’re exhausted.
Before you realize it, exhaustion, hunger, or irritation kicks in, and zingers are flying out of your mouth. Your words come out more forceful, direct in the extreme, and probably not very helpful. That unintended consequence and embodiment of, “Sorry! When I get hungry, I get truthy!”.
For an 8-year-old, you can offer a little grace and understanding, especially if he becomes aware of his “truthiness” and expresses that awareness honestly.
For a 38 or 48-year-old…not so much.
That was a harmless dinner interaction between brothers. Imagine the real-world consequences between a boss and his employee, coworker to coworker, or vendor to customer. Relationship discord. Communication breakdown. Loss of a job or important account.
Do you have self-awareness around these things? Have you taken personal inventory to discover your “truthy triggers”? What are ways you can take notice of that indicator light before your tank is out of gas?
Out of the mouths of babes…Jack. Overall, I am enjoying these dinnertime moments, these everyday life opportunities and lessons as they pop up.
Here’s to discovering opportunities from your own everyday life to learn and share with others!
